Your Guide to BDSM Events and Clubs

I get a lot of questions about BDSM and where to find parties. I think it’s because of the emergence of BDSM-themed works such as the “Fifty Shades of Grey” trilogy by E.L. James and heaps of fan fiction written by a plethora of authors. At any rate, the BDSM lifestyle is now more prevalent than ever before.

But…I’m Scared!

All those whacky, pokey, scary things! And you might be in bondage! Yikes!

At first glance, BDSM fetish clubs are pretty damn scary. These types of establishments are often filled with weird contraptions and devices that look like they can hurt you and torture you at any given moment. But with your honey at your side, the experience may start to seem a little less scary. As you become more and more acquainted and comfortable with your partner, going into these BDSM clubs becomes less of a scary experience. 

Contrary to popular belief, going to places like these is actually quite safe. The employees who work there take their jobs very seriously. BDSM fetish clubs are also registered business with permits and the like. BDSM fetish clubs are not sex clubs, so you should not expect any of the employees working there to attempt to sell their body to you.

Okay, How Do I Find One and What Do I Do?

FetLife is a great place to start. Sign up and click on Events in your area. If you’re worried about running into someone you know, save your BDSM club/event outings for your out of town adventures. You can also do a Google search for BDSM and then your city and see what comes up. If you find a site for a club in your area, read everything carefully. There may be rules and regulations, and you don’t want to fuck up your first time.

For your first time, I recommend just going and watching. There are often rooms where people are playing and you can watch and get a feel for things. Don’t worry about playing your first time (unless you want to)–just relax and take in the scenery.

If you want to play with strangers, ask–but don’t interrupt a scene. Scenes are often negotiated beforehand so everyone knows what to expect.

Wait…Why Am I Doing This?

Because you only live once! Part of you wants to do it. That’s why you’re reading this.

Going by yourself can be scary, but it can also be exhilarating. Who knows who you might meet.

Going on dates to BDSM fetish clubs can be a very stimulating experience. Some say that trust can also be established through BDSM. Even those who do not identify with having a BDSM fetish may find the experience highly enjoyable and may want to go on a repeat trip. They may even suggest trying out what was performed in the BDSM club at home, and if that’s the case, try these books on for size.

Experiences such as this can greatly liven up a couple’s sex life. Some couples may even want to recreate their experience at home, which fuels their libido to greater heights. The more frequent and more intense sex couples will have as a result of their BDSM club dates can prove to be the spark that reignites the romantic and sexual connections between the people in a relationship.

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