Better Sex: Tips to Jump Start Your Erotic Imagination

If you’re in a rut, I’m here to encourage you to use your imagination to improve your sex life. Whether you decide to try out BDSM or play kinky games, Brenda is here to help you get started. Here are the keys to creative sex:

Communication

Duh! I know you’re tired of hearing it, but it’s true. It’s the key to better sex, and you know it! Go talk to your partner.

Find out what they’re into after a nice dinner, dessert and a glass of wine. Maybe give each other massages to help with relaxation. Have your partner check off items on a list. They may need a bit of coaxing through reading erotic stories or watching porn, but with enough persistence, you should be able to find out what their naughty side is like. Be patient with this. It’s a marathon, not a race. Everyone has things they’re into! You could even write down your fantasies if you’re too shy to talk it out.

Don’t forget that you don’t have to go all out once you find out their secrets. If they want a threesome, don’t feel like you need to dive right in. Watch threesome porn or just talk about it during sex. It’ll ramp things up, trust me.

Homework 

The good kind! This is the fun part in my opinion. Once you find out what they’re into, do some research. Are they into rope play? Spanking? Flogging? Time to pick up some books and learn all about how to pull it off. If your lover has a submissive side or a dominant side, dig up some books on that topic, too. Use good old Google to find more information and shop on Amazon if you’re looking for sex toys and lingerie. It’ll be shipped in a discreet package–or you can use Amazon lockers.

And yes, you perv: porn technically counts as research, so don’t feel bad about watching it to help expand your knowledge. If you’re stuck and need resources, feel free to reach out to me. 

Experiment

Get your toes (and other body parts?) wet, but remember that nothing really needs to be scripted 100%. You’ll fuck up and make mistakes. Don’t worry about it. Play everything by ear and just have fun. If you get stuck in a role-playing scene, for example, laugh it off and move on to something else; or better yet, just kiss them or take off an item of clothing.

You’re human and don’t forget this is supposed to be fun. Laugh and go with the flow and the sex will be better. Do things you wouldn’t normally do, like visit a sex shop or go to a BDSM club. You’ll get a thrill in venturing outside of the norm.

Explore

Even if you have sex in a hotel room, you’re doing things different from what you’re used to at home. Try it in the car, in the restroom at a dinner party–you get the idea! And you don’t always have to go all the way, either. Some of the best sex comes after you fool around in different places. Try touching him under the table at dinner or kiss her neck in the back of the Uber. Anything to throw a wrench in your normal, day-to-day life.

I recommend doing it in different parts of the house or even putting on a little show at a swinger’s party if you’re feeling adventurous. It sounds scary at first, and it can be–but you only live once, so why not give it your all?

Relax

If you both love the idea of a wild night with a third lover, don’t feel the pressure to dive right into the moment. Play around awhile and build up the anticipation! Sometimes all the time leading up to the actual event is sexier than the event itself, like I mentioned above. While the two of you are having sex, you could whisper something like, “Imagine what it would feel like to have another pair of hands touching you.” If you say something like this, especially if you don’t usually talk dirty in bed, it’s sure to spice things up.

Try these out. Just by reading this, you’re well on your way to more fulfilling, creative sex. Keep dreaming big and keep having lots of sex, and the adventure will never die down.

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